My week off

It has been a long time since I’ve taken a week off of work. This week is my attempt to do that. I’ve been pushing outdoor projects off all summer, and want to get some of those wrapped up. I doubt it will feel very much like a vacation. More like shifting my focus from the business to our property.

Last night when I put my head on my pillow, I was thinking about the fact that I would not show up at the office in the morning. While I have been looking forward to taking a week off for a long time, I did feel a tinge of pain. I am wired to work and build. Taking it easy feels like a punishment.

This morning, I sent off an email for materials that we are critically low on. That is entirely my fault. I should have done a more thorough job of checking inventory before taking off. I do not want to cover for purchasing during my week off, but felt compelled to until we hire a competent purchaser.

I can't step back because I haven't actually built a business that can run without me—not yet. We need a real purchaser. We need systems that don't require me to be the fail-safe. I've been working on this for months, but finding competent people in our area takes time. So in the meantime, I keep stepping in. Not because I need to be the hero, but because someone has to keep things moving while we get the right people in place.

Full transparency: I also called our bank to resolve a false fraud alert flag. My business partner could have handled this. But I jumped in anyway because fixing things gives me a hit I've come to depend on. I own this. Next time, I need to pause before jumping in and ask whether someone else can handle it.

At this stage, taking a week off means stepping back instead of fully disconnecting. It's not the vacation I want, but it's the one I can take right now.